Based on the true story and memoir of the same name by Paris Lees, What It Feels Like For A Girl tells the tale of a pre-transition teenager named Byron, who becomes familiar with the party crowd in his town. The book reflects Paris’s life before her transition, and the series seemingly does it justice, bringing to life her traumatic past, where she was abused, manipulated, and even sent to prison. However, this didn’t stop her from becoming an icon, working as an editor at Gay Times and starting the first trans magazine in the UK, META.
While I can’t speak to the trans experience myself, I can say that the series does a fantastic job of balancing the naiveté and confidence of a teenager trying to find their identity. Byron’s story may be different from yours, but you may find a hint of yourself in his struggle or his search for the perfect wig. The series is not meant to raise awareness; It's just the account of one person's experience in the early 2000s, when things were about to change. That said, let's move on to the summary of the series.
Stars: Hannah Jones, Ellis Howard, Laquarn Lewis
The series begins with Byron, a 15-year-old boy who fears his father but isn't afraid to walk like a fairy through the streets of his small town. His first encounter with the wrong crowd is when a man in a public restroom starts touching himself, watching him. When Byron hides in one of the stalls, the man gives him money, which makes him realize he can make some money out of this. I suppose Byron doesn't mind this treatment because he's tired of the physical abuse from bullies and the psychological abuse from his parents, who tell him he's not "man" enough. Byron starts doing this regularly—sexual favors for pay—and it gives him more energy and takes away his fear. Soon, a couple of guys in a car find him and ask if he'll do a job for them. On this job, Byron meets a 19-year-old boy named Max, who does the "job" with him. However, somehow, soon after meeting, they are both already crazy about each other, and Byron thinks he's in love.
Max and Byron start dating, and their attraction seems genuine; however, Byron's mother finds out and tells Max to stay away from Byron or she'll tell the police he's chasing children. Byron can't understand why Max suddenly stopped talking to him and decides to go looking for him at clubs. That's where he discovers what a transsexual is when he meets Lady Die, a stunning dancer, who immediately takes him under her wing. Die has a lot of friends whom Byron likes, except for Sasha, who seems to have some tension with the young man. Let's assume this is how Byron finally made some good friends.
One of the guys who got Byron the job with Max is Liam. Liam has a thing for Sasha, but it's clear from the start that Byron and he have their eyes on each other. Byron starts hanging out with the girls, and they all start doing "jobs" together. Soon, Byron ends up at Liam's house, who gives him a bunch of drugs. Meanwhile, Byron also finds out that Max has gotten over what happened with By's mom, so he's devastated. Byron and Liam get together, but it's obviously a secret. Die finds out, but he has to keep quiet or Sasha will get angry. Now, Liam asks Byron if he'd be willing to do a job for him that would make him a lot of money. Byron agrees, but the man doesn't show up the first time.
The second time, the man named Dean shows up, but knowing he's a child molester, Liam asks Byron if he'll join him in robbing Dean. Byron agrees because he's so tired of being locked in a box that any adventure excites him. Liam points a gun at Dean's head and orders Byron to withdraw money from all his cards. Byron complies and returns safely, and Dean says he won't tell anyone, but of course, that's not true. Besides, Liam definitely has anger issues, and he's just using Byron, so he's not a great moral person.
Byron and Sasha have been rivals for a long time, but things get really tense when Sasha discovers Byron is sleeping with Liam. Byron and Sasha accept the challenge of seducing Bradley, the doorman's nephew. You see, Bev, the doorman, has always been nice to them, but she's always told them to stay away from her nephew. Still, Sasha almost exposes the girls to a room full of intimidating men, only to win the challenge, and obviously, Bradley chooses her. But Bradley likes Sasha, which becomes a big problem, and leads Bev to punch her in the face and tell her to "fight" her like a man, but more on that in a bit.
Byron ends up doing too many drugs and makes the whole thing his own, which makes Die feel a little disappointed. Also, Die discovers that Byron was with Liam the night she was assaulted, not her mother. Eventually, things get complicated. Byron ends up throwing up, and Bev has to pick up Byron and Die because Sasha asks her to, and the whole thing is crazy. But Byron says she'll get sober and even get a job working for her old classmate's family at a call center. But she parties too hard and ends up getting arrested when the police show up at one of the parties, which makes her realize that the robbery was a huge mistake and that Liam was actually a bad person who didn't care about her at all.
Suddenly, the police discover the robbery, but Byron cooperates at the trial. Liam, on the other hand, isn't the same and keeps failing to show up. This leads to Byron serving time before being sentenced. Eventually, though, even without Liam showing up, Byron is sentenced to two years in prison. Sure, she doesn't fit in, and everyone is horrible to her—all the men, insulting her, and so on—but she keeps her head high. In prison, he boasts about his educational skills and impresses the tutor, who tells him he can get early release if he fills out some forms and tries to go to university. Byron does so diligently. But he also meets a boy named Carl, who is initially scary and seems to hate Byron, but actually wants Byron to help him.
Carl can't read very well and knows Byron is smart, so he asks him to help him write a letter to his mother (only after he's shown everyone his anger issues). But Carl isn't like Byron and keeps screwing up, which means he can't get his early release. Carl ends up trying to kill himself, which leaves Byron devastated, but there's no one to really talk to because Die is angry with him. But Byron manages to be a good girl and gets his early release, only to find that no one cares. Before all this, however, Byron's mother took her to Paris, just for a vacation, the two of them. Although they don't know each other well yet, they certainly understand each other's shortcomings. But when Byron's mother learns that his court case involves a robbery and the circumstances surrounding it, she is completely shaken, and can't even look at her own son (well, she thinks so).
In the final episode, Byron is released from prison, and things are radically different than before. He can walk around dressed as a girl and feel fine. His grandmother fully supports him, but his mother doesn't. She believes he won't be safe and won't have any friends. Byron has also lost his old friends, and despite all his shortcomings, he's fine because he has his grandmother's love. But all good things must come to an end, and Byron's grandmother falls ill. Well, she's so sick she'll die in a couple of days. Byron reunites with Max and considers resuming their romance, but she chooses a better life. Max was a good boy, yes, but Byron has big plans for his future. After her grandmother's death, Byron gets a second chance at an interview at the University of Brighton. This is her mother's doing, as she'll discover later. So, while it seems like her mother doesn't care, she actually does. Her father, on the other hand, seems to have nothing more to say to her.
At the end of "What It Feels Like For A Girl," Byron brings all her friends back, including Sasha, and even asks if they'd go to Brighton with her. Sure, they have things to do at home, so they say no, but hey, she always has a home where they are. On the other hand, Byron feels like she's come full circle since meeting Lady Die at the club, going from not knowing what a transgender person was to becoming one. Finally, Byron feels like herself, and at her new university, when someone introduces herself, she says she's Paris.
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