Die My Love, by Lynne Ramsay, doesn't feel so much like a film, but rather an amalgamation of awkwardly sequenced scenes of a woman falling apart by the second. As a woman, I think I understand what the film is trying to convey, but I don't think the execution entirely convinces me. Lynne and Jennifer describe it as a poetic film, which makes me think it's specifically made in such a way that we're supposed to be confused and make our own interpretations of what's happening.
To be fair, there's more than one way to interpret what this film is getting at. It's not as simple as "she had a baby and now she wants to die." Nor is it "she had a baby and now she hates her husband and thinks he's cheating on her." Depression isn't easy to portray visually, I understand that, but what this film is trying to say gets lost in its confusing narrative and weak script.
Director: Lynne Ramsay
Writers: Enda Walsh, Lynne Ramsay, Alice Birch
Stars: Jennifer Lawrence, Robert Pattinson, Sissy Spacek
I wish there were more elements to latch onto, besides Lawrence's stunning performance. But I'm basically hinting that this film doesn't have a clear ending; what you think of it might be completely different from my interpretation, but therein lies the beauty of the message. I guess it really invites self-reflection. That being said, let's delve into some of the moments leading up to the terrifying ending of Die My Love.
Much of this film feels claustrophobic without actually being so. There's beauty in the aesthetics, of course, but there's also a dark and ominous vibe almost from the moment the first night begins in the new house. Grace and Jackson have moved into her deceased uncle's house in the middle of nowhere. The first thing to note is that Grace was born and raised in New York; she's used to city life, and she made this decision to join Jackson in the countryside because she feels an irresistible attraction to him (and also because it might help her with her writing). Even if nothing else is clear in this film, one thing is certain: she feels an animalistic attraction to Jackson, so she would literally do anything for him. But that's when everything goes wrong, and a baby is on the way, and she feels trapped at home while he can go wherever he wants for "work." Now, different people will have different opinions about Jackson's ambiguous love life, but I think the only clue we have that he's actually cheating on her is the "protection" he keeps in the car.
Anyway, in the film, after Jackson basically saddles Grace with a dog, in addition to the crying baby, she feels even more trapped throughout this whole process. Jackson thinks he's being a wonderful partner, keeping her company, but she's disgusted by the idea of having to take care of two babies instead of one. You could compare the baby to the dog and the horse to Grace. In the scene where Jackson hits the horse, it's the dog that gets hurt the most, not Jackson or Grace. If we consider Grace as the horse, Jackson hitting the horse is a metaphor for Jackson abandoning Grace. The horse runs away, and Grace is left there wishing she could do the same. But, more importantly, she ends up shooting the dog, crying inconsolably all night because it's injured. Since Grace and Jackson's relationship is in crisis, the little baby isn't getting the life it deserves either. It's ridiculous how Jackson can just dump this responsibility on her when she already has a practically 24/7 job that he doesn't seem to care about at all or help with. When the baby cries at night, it's always Grace who wakes up. But what about her needs? They also go unmet, because he seems to be getting what he needs elsewhere.
Sure, Grace is truly unbalanced, and having a baby sends her into a kind of psychosis, but it's the circumstances that push her to that point. What Grace is really feeling is that she's been shattered by Jackson, who brought her to this point and then left her alone to fend for herself. To make matters worse, it's clear from the beginning that Grace was never meant to be a stay-at-home wife. She's not the type of woman who likes to stay home baking for her husband, who goes out to work hard to earn a living. She's the kind of person who gets upset because she can't bake a homemade cake for her six-month-old baby. So you can't simply say she's suffering from postpartum depression; the situation is much more complex.
The moment the baby is born, Grace begins to feel abandoned by Jackson. She practically throws herself at him, but he ignores her several times. On one occasion, early in the film, she calls him unexpectedly, and he seems surprised; it's clear that communication between them is no longer the same, and her call is a sign that something is wrong. She just wants to know when he'll be home and if they can have dinner together, a simple romantic gesture, but he practically ignores her when the waitress starts talking to him, instead asking her how the baby is. After Grace hangs up, she imagines Jackson making passionate love to the waitress instead of her, clearly sexually frustrated. But was there any truth to the suspicion that Jackson was sleeping with other women while Grace was at home taking care of the baby and (at least temporarily) putting up with the dog?
There's a moment after an argument where Jackson drags Grace into the truck and takes her for a drive, leaving the baby at home, just so they can talk about what's going on between them. The conversation doesn't go very far, but Grace finds a box of condoms in the glove compartment, and Jackson gets flustered trying to explain. First, he tries to say it's an old box she's seen before, and then he tells her they actually belong to Greg. It's while she's playing with the condoms that Jackson hits the horse. While the box itself isn't proof that he was cheating, a second, new box, implying that the previous one was finished, certainly suggests it.
We see this box right after Grace gets out of the psychiatric hospital, and she definitely wasn't sleeping with Jackson while she was there. There's also the fact that Jackson eerily imitates the cashier at the local supermarket by saying that Kraft dinners are magical. Although that could simply imply that she told him that in the checkout line at some point, rather than that they had slept together.
It's unclear whether this insecurity is what leads Grace to behave impulsively and be unfaithful to her husband, or if it's simply the sexual neglect she feels (at one point, she complains to Jackson that he hasn't touched her in two and a half months). But the presence of the mysterious, nameless biker definitely has an impact. Grace, so unaccustomed to domestic life and the monotonous, boring life of a mother, sees something exciting in this enigmatic figure in a red leather jacket, even before he takes off his helmet to reveal the striking Lakeith Stanfield.
Perhaps when he asked her to cut her lip with a knife, it was almost as if he were asking her to prove she was a real person? There's certainly a surreal, dreamlike quality to the scenes featuring Grace and the biker; they all take place at night, and the lighting is diffused. The first time he kisses her is after she takes her mother-in-law's gun and before she shoots the dog, and the first time they have sex is after her nervous breakdown at Greg's party, where she stripped off her clothes and jumped into the pool.
When she sees the biker (or at least a man with the same face) in the parking lot later, he's married and has a daughter in a wheelchair, but that doesn't stop her from approaching them, and his dialogue references one of Lakeith Stanfield's previous films when he says, "Excuse the inconvenience." Judging by the trembling of his lips and his nervous gaze, he definitely seems to know Grace and is nervous about her exposing him in front of his family.
But it's also possible to interpret the scenes between him and Grace as a way for her to emotionally distance herself from Jackson, knowing that her actions will drive them apart, leading her to commit this spiritual adultery with a mysterious man she's invented, based on a man she'd seen before. Any random white woman approaching the biker in the parking lot might have been enough to make him nervous anyway.
At the end of Die My Love, we see Grace leave the gathering that had been organized for her return, which is ironic because she herself had to bake a cake and prepare everything, thus becoming the perfect scapegoat. Grace abandons her son and her life as a mother and wife because she can no longer bear it. She simply wants to free herself from everything and run into the woods, the only place where she finds true peace. Although Grace is a writer, we never see her writing throughout the entire film. She doesn't even carry anything to write a novel with, not even a notebook, and this is another sign that she feels trapped. She doesn't feel creative or capable of working in such a monotonous and lonely place. The only reason she is there is to be with Jackson, who, however, is never present.
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