Two of the finest actors of their generation, plus a hilarious script from "The Favourite" screenwriter Tony McNamara, aren't enough to fix the lack of chemistry between an English couple at war.
It's been 36 years, approximately 40 million divorces, and a radical cultural shift (or several) since Danny DeVito's dark romantic comedy "The Wars of the Roses" pitted Kathleen Turner and Michael Douglas against each other, but that film's marketing pitch still makes me laugh.
Director: Jay Roach
Writers: Warren Adler, Tony McNamara
Stars: Olivia Colman, Benedict Cumberbatch, Kate McKinnon
"Once in a lifetime, a movie comes along that makes you feel like you're falling in love again," the tagline joked. "This isn't that movie."
Bringing fresh wit and 21st-century gender politics to Warren Adler's scathingly anti-rom-com novel, "The Fockers" director Jay Roach has removed the "war" from "The Wars of the Roses." Their version—not exactly a remake—may be less belligerent, but it still packs a punch. In the end, Ivy (Olivia Colman) and Theo Rose (Benedict Cumberbatch), seemingly an ideal couple, try to kill each other under the flammable roof of their custom-built love nest.
But for most of this inventive remake, Ivy and Theo are little more than thorns in each other's side. After Noah Baumbach's brutally honest "Marriage Story," "The Roses" doesn't try to compete, but it acknowledges that there's much more to be said about how marriage can degenerate into acrimony over time, especially when power is divided between spouses.
Tony McNamara's script opens with couples therapy, where the British duo demonstrate that their relationship thrives on the kind of sharp exchanges that might make Americans reach for the razor. Tasked with sharing 10 things they love about each other, Ivy and Theo hurl insults at each other like, "I'd rather live with her than a wolf." The therapist reacts horrified, but judging by the sly grins on their faces, this kind of dry, mutually derogatory humor still turns them on.
That attraction is written clearly enough, but something is missing from the chemistry between Colman and Cumberbatch: namely, a spark. Without it, Roach's "Roses" is a bit limp, at least compared to the scorching passion we feel between Turner and Douglas, who made "War" five years after lighting up the screen with "Romancing the Stone." By casting a couple with preexisting chemistry, DeVito's film felt like a kind of observational take on a rom-com couple, only to discover what we so often suspect of those films.
"The Roses" makes us believe that Ivy and Theo have an insatiable sex life, barely able to separate themselves, introducing this dynamic through a passionate encounter in the kitchen of the restaurant where Ivy works. Within five minutes of exchanging greetings, the two are fucking in the freezer. For the rest of the film, they flirt like newlyweds, a stark contrast to their married friends.
Andy Samberg and Kate McKinnon play a couple, Barry and Amy, whose sex life has clearly turned cold. Amy constantly flirts with Theo in one of the film's weakest jokes. Meanwhile, Rory (Jamie Demetriou) and Sally (Zoë Chao) let their unspoken resentments simmer. If you really want to see mismatched lovers go at it, watch Audrey Hepburn and Albert Finney drive each other crazy in Stanley Donen's underrated "Two for the Road."
For years, Ivy and Theo have managed to make their relationship work—"The Roses" enthusiastically summarizes its ups and downs—managing their incompatible parenting styles well enough to raise a respectful son and daughter. Ivy spoils the children with sweets (though raspberries send her into anaphylactic shock), while Theo is more of a taskmaster, treating them like boot camp recruits. Much of the film has that vibrant Hollywood feel.
The Roses are nothing like a real couple; they're more like the enviable, down-to-earth people who populate Nancy Meyers films. He's a brilliant architect. She's a chef with little confidence. And then, one day, their big project fails, taking her career with it. Now it's Ivy's time to shine. She's always wanted to open a crab stand, but she has no sense of promotion, and although Theo is superficially supportive, depression and jealousy soon set in.
An entire movie could be made about this role reversal and how an ambitious man is affected by the abrupt derailment of his professional identity (indeed, several have, including that '80s phenomenon, "Mr. Mom," ripe for a remake).
An entire movie could be made about this role reversal and how an ambitious man is affected by having his professional identity so abruptly derailed (indeed, several have, including that '80s phenomenon, "Mr. Mom," ripe for a remake). But the transition happens so quickly that we never see the Roses go through hardships, which is where many couples' compatibility is truly tested. Even when Ivy and Theo supposedly annoy each other, their banter is still ten times more articulate and interesting than anything you'd find on apps.
It's hard to go from there to watching these two humiliate and destroy each other for fun. As everyone around them (except for the no-nonsense lawyer played by Allison Janney) insists they defuse the tension, "The Roses" begins to feel like precisely the movie its predecessor wasn't: that is, a movie that makes you feel like you're falling in love again. For starters, the conflict doesn't take up half the plot, as it did in DeVito's film. Here, it's more of a skirmish than a full-blown war, which presumably explains why the pun was removed from the title.
As the saying goes, "The Roses" wouldn't have been as sweet by any other name.
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