Ladies and gentlemen (although, let's be honest, we're mostly gentlemen here), Michael Jai White has arrived. He's officially gone from "up-and-comer" to fully-formed action icon. He's earned the right to be called MJW and for everyone to know what it means. Never mind that Hollywood hasn't figured out how to make movies around him the way they do with Jason Statham, that Sly hasn't thought to make him a Jobless Man, that Marvel Comics hasn't lined up a superhero to play him. He's tired of waiting, so he's taking it easy.
I think many of you will agree with me on this this fall, and even for those of you already on board his status in your internal action hero rankings will rise. In October you'll be able to see him in the highly entertaining blaxploitation homage BLACK DYNAMITE, where he'll be able to show off both his gruff presence and his hitherto unexplored comedic chops. That's a long time away, but you'll only have to wait until September 15th to see it in a serious cable action movie called BLOOD AND BONE. Okay, that's a few weeks away. I'm jumping the gun on this review, but it's because it's the best cable movie I've seen in a long time; one of the best I've ever seen, in fact. If it wasn't MJW, I wouldn't have known to watch it, because it's another underground fight movie with a bunch of mixed martial arts star cameos in the back.
Director: Ben Ramsey
Writer: Michael Andrews
Stars: Michael Jai White, Julian Sands, Eamonn Walker
These things are spreading through the cable world like tentpoles and are usually unwatchable. I don't know about you, but I'm not entertained by 90 minutes of strobe lights, guitars, and shirtless giants behind a chain link fence. But that's not what it's about, and it doesn't really have much to do with actual "MMA," it's about flying kicks. It's more like Van Damme's LIONHEART, and it's right up there with a lot of the movies from that era that we still enjoy. MJW shows up in a prison bathroom. His back is turned to Kimbo Slice and a gang of rapists. He's so nonchalant that he rinses his shirt in the sink while they threaten and berate him. Then he turns around and gives them a five count. Of course, they try to laugh it off, so he fights back and within seconds he has Kimbo on the floor moaning and clutching the stab wound in his chest.
MJW says, "I want you to tell every motherfucker behind these bars that if they ever get the idea to fuck with me, don't do it." And then BAM, the title appears on the screen. That's what I call a tough guy's statement of intent. You immediately know that the movie is serious about what it promises. It's like Seagal threw that pimp through the windshield in OUT FOR JUSTICE. If a movie has a cool start and then the title hits you like a bolt of lightning, that's usually a good sign. Upon his release from prison, MJW (who says to be called "Bone" but never says that's his name) finds a place to stay and quickly works his way up the ranks of an underground fighter circuit. He clearly has his eye on a rival fight manager named James (Eamonn Walker) and his lady (Michelle Belegrin). James is a great villain. He's a cruel pimp, loves his pit bulls, doesn't drink or do drugs, but keeps his women hooked on heroin so he can control them.
He doesn't believe in swearing ("Remember, profanity is a brutal vice. Whoever uses it is no gentleman"), so when he starts swearing toward the end, you know Bone is getting to him. He also has the best "How evil is he?" scene killing a henchman I've seen in a long time. The movie takes place at a dinner party where he convinces a white guy to sing Wang Chung's "Dance Hall Days" to get him to let his guard down before slashing him with a fucking sword and then kicking him to death. And I know it's just Wang Chung, but I'm surprised they were able to get the rights to that movie.
I'm glad they did, so everyone could have fun tonight, etc. One other thing: I like it when an action movie villain is a Westerner who loves swords, especially when this is set up at the beginning to set up a sword fight at the end. James and Bone also share an interest in Genghis Khan, so there are some quotes that go on. (Surprisingly, there's no mention of Sun Tzu in this movie.) As evil as James is, there are moments when you like him. He's got a goal of infiltrating an elite consortium of rich international jerks who bet on the highest-stakes underground fights. His contact is Julian Sands, who tells him bluntly that he doesn't want to hang out with black people. He makes "African American" sound like a racial slur. James then tells him his theory of how big penises caused slavery.

Comments
Post a Comment