If I Had Legs, I'd Kick You—it feels like it could be the big hit of Sundance 2025. As with many of the festival's films, I attended a press screening without knowing much about the film beyond the brief synopsis in the program. I chatted with the person sitting next to me about the films we'd seen and how we'd both heard good things about this one.
The lights dimmed, and the first thing that appeared on the screen was the A24 logo. We immediately looked at each other and said, "Ah!" Sure, they're behind some flops, but generally, when I see A24 behind a project, I perk up. Their films are simply different.
Director: Mary Bronstein
Writer: Mary Bronstein
Stars: Rose Byrne, Conan O'Brien, Danielle Macdonald
Writer-director Mary Bronstein has delivered a challenging portrait of motherhood that's uncomfortable to watch. Filmed almost entirely in close-up, the atmosphere is claustrophobic, frenetic, and oppressive, with no establishing shots to help the viewer orient themselves. We are forced into Linda's personal space, feeling almost as if we are invading her privacy: the camera focuses on her in almost every shot. If I Had Legs I'd Kick You challenges the audience to confront truths about motherhood, guilt, and the emotional gap between cultural expectations and personal reality. Imagine Nightbitch, but without its peculiarity.
The plot centers on Linda (Rose Byrne), a psychotherapist trying to balance her work with her nameless 10-year-old daughter, who suffers from an unnamed illness that demands constant attention and care. The daughter is faceless throughout the film and is connected to a feeding tube, the umbilical cord that Linda desperately wants to cut. The focus here is not on the illness itself, but on Linda's emotional and physical exhaustion and her growing resentment. Similar to the haunting "We Need to Talk About Kevin" (2011), the film explores the taboo subject of a mother who has never bonded with her daughter. Here, Linda self-medicates with drugs and alcohol and makes questionable decisions, all while attempting to advise others.
If I Had Legs, I'd Kick You is a film of metaphors and emotional nuance. Early in the film, Linda suffers a flood in her apartment that leaves a huge hole in the ceiling, forcing her to move to a cheap motel nearby. Despite her efforts to arrange for repairs, the hole simply won't be fixed. A recurring theme is that Linda needs help and isn't getting it, and this gaping hole in her life only grows larger. She returns again and again to the apartment, only to discover that no one has repaired the hole.
The film also explores the theme of being "seen." Linda's interactions with others, including her therapist (a chillingly distant Conan O'Brien), reflect her frustration at not finding the support she needs, despite her constant pleas for help. Her husband, a sea captain, is away at sea and offers no support. He can't understand why Linda doesn't fix the roof. The most realistic character in the film is her motel neighbor, James (A$AP Rocky), who criticizes her for being a neglectful mother. I suppose he's the only person who truly "sees" her as we do, as viewers. James's confrontations with Linda stand in stark contrast to those of others, who largely ignore or misinterpret her struggles.
It's hard to convey this film's chaotic energy and the feeling of being out of control. What if you don't feel the love for your own children as you'd expect? If I Had Legs, I'd Kick You is a film that tackles motherhood head-on and offers no easy conclusions. It's an exhausting experience, and I loved it. It's only January, but I'm sure it will be on my top ten list in December.
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